Livin' In America

An open letter to Starbucks Coffee Corporation (or whatever their marketing pressure bullshit name is right now) in response to this:

As a gentle nudge, we want to remind you
that you need to earn 30 Stars by the end
of your anniversary year to stay Gold. And
you have six months left - plenty of time!

My response:

Dear Marketing Pressure Bullshit Asshole,

Please don't put marketing pressure bullshit on me.

If you do, I'll just drop the card.

You've got coffee. You don't have *the* coffee.

I don't need you, and I definitely don't need the marketing pressure bullshit hassle.

Why not forgo the marketing pressure bullshit, and just surprise me randomly when I accidentally make it through your marketing pressure bullshit maze?

That would be much more satisfying to me.

Yours in Christ,


Patrick
--
PS: Fuck you and this "nudge" bullshit. Cass Sunstein will be sitting on the shit-heap of history in the next year or so. At that point, Pepsi will lose the ObamaWave, and you'll lose the "nudge" bullshit.

That feels better.